Doing Things Right In Matters of the Heart 8

Chapter 8 of John Ensor's book Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart is called "He Works...She Waits." The chapter deals with men and women going against the grain of culture in regards to the physical aspect of a relationship. In the chapter we see that a woman's modesty will go a long way in maturing a man for marriage. Enjoy the excerpts...

In matters of the heart, men are to work to win and women are to wait and be won.

“Sisters, this means reclaiming the power of modesty and chastity. Nothing will make a man work harder at wooing and preparing himself to wed than modesty and chastity. Men work when women wait.”

“How do women transform immature men into mature ones? Through the power of their modesty and chastity. Such women understand not only the moral clarity of, God’s Word, but they also see the wisdom in his commands to abstain. When women wait, the impatient male predator will go elsewhere, which protects them from the wrong man. The immature man, however, is forced to consider what changes in his life need to be made. He asks, ‘What are the terms and conditions under which I may turn your “Not now” and “Not yet” into “Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its choicest fruits!” (Song of Solomon 4:16) Then he gets to work and grows up in the process.”

“Sisters, there is power in waiting. If you give away this God-endowed power and simple act, as the apostle Paul said, ‘like the Gentiles who do not know God’ and satisfy his lusts, you undermine God’s work of maturing manhood. So part company with the crowd. Become a nonconformist.”

“Simple women end up sacrificing the best years of their fertile lives on men who will never make themselves ready for marriage. Why? Because such women only wish rather than require that the man in their lives will marry. They hope for marriage with their “partner” when instead, if they followed God’s will in this matter, they could be planning for it.”