Doing Things Right In Matters of the Heart 11

Chapter 11 of John Ensor's Doing Things Right In Matters of the Heart is entitled "His Unmet Desire Drives Him Towards Marriage...Hers Is Rewarded With Marriage." In this chapter the value of waiting for sexual intimacy is explored as well as the maturing aspect of sexual desire.

“My point, and that of the apostle Paul, is that unmet sexual desire is the means by which God takes a young man who hasn’t given two minutes of his whole life to think about marriage and prompts him to consider it, prepare for it, and then take the plunge.”

“Unmet sexual passion is like carrots: it helps a man see better what he really wants in life. Unmet sexual passion brings into focus a vision for being a husband and potentially a father. Unmet sexual passion drives him toward removing all the obstacles, whether they are inner fears and doubts or the need to work hard toward preparing him to know her family, to talk about their future, and to finish up what needs to be done in order to be able to make a living. It drives us to solve problems and get ready. It matures us.”

“For women, waiting is their reward. They find a good man by waiting. They are rewarded for waiting a short time when later they dong wait endlessly for him to work out all his stuff.”

“Unmet sexual desire is a gift, a disturbing gift, but nevertheless a gift. Receive it well, and until the day comes when it is time to set it aside for the better gift, use the time to make sure that when it comes, you have already set in place the marks of a healthy, tender, passionate, enduring, mutually fulfilling relationship.”